heckacute:

I liked her. She wasn’t like other girls. She was old fashioned. She didn’t just send a nude. She hired a professional artist to a paint a nude portrait of her, framed it, and then shipped it to me. It took several months to get to here. It had to travel a treacherous voyage around the cape. Many men died bringing me this wonderful work of art. 

nerdyicecream:

YOU KNOW WHAT? I REALIZED, THERE’S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST SPENDING YOUR DAYS IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTER, CHECKING OUT TUMBLR. FROM NOW ON I’M NOT GOING TO WASTE MY LIFE ON THE COMPUTER!

*opens tumblr app on mobile*

mamayuuma:

"what will your kids think of that tattoo?"
my kids aren’t going to give 2 shits because i’m not going to raise them to be a judgmental asshole like yours did

(Source: iiiarclight)